The Ballad of South Carolina

(Not perfectly to the tune of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina")

Don't cry for me South Carolina
I only went to Argentina
It wasn't a big deal
All I needed was a quick feel
To clear my head
And now I've lost my cred

Who knew those e-mails were public
You'd think I'd keep them private
After all, I scolded Clinton
Yet I was stroking a new kitten
Never mind my transgressions
Even though my state was in session

I guess I'm just another Republican
Out seeking higher poll numbers
And some would say I found them
At the end of a shorter hem
I never thought I'd change
But turns out I'm human
And wanted to search the range

I've spent my career
Preaching to others steer clear
Of sin and seduction
But like my colleagues
I've fallen off my steed
And broke my promise
To you great people
I've broke my promise
And ended up as another Republican creep