Meanwhile, in the sports world

The US Men's Soccer team will play for the Confederations Cup championship on Sunday after shocking Spain, the world's top team, in the semifinals.
I didn't get a chance to watch either the US wins over Egypt or Spain. I've forgotten the games were on, and was probably watching "Spongebob Squarepants."
After the Egypt win, my reaction was "No f'ing way." Not because the US beat Egypt, because the US should beat the Egypts of the world. But because of the paired result (Brazil's 3-0 win over Italy) that allowed the US into the semifinals.
Quick aside to the so-called sports experts on TV: How do you want to break a 3-way tie in a soccer tournament? You can't go with head-to-head, since they all beat each other. And you can't go back to head-to-head once you've eliminated a team on goal differential. So what's next? What stat are you going to use to break that tie? Huh? I'm waiting.
OK, back to the US. Watching the highlights and breakdowns of the victory over Spain, I kept waiting for the voice over to change to those of the instant coffee hidden camera commercials of the 70s and 80s.
We've secretly replaced the Gatorade of the US soccer team with one with added elements to allow them to play with more heart and guts. Let's see if they can tell the difference.
Before these two impressive wins, I think there was a bit of panic amongst the people who follow soccer in this country. There were calls for coach Bob Bradley to be fired.
But a few lineup changes, most of which were obviously necessary, and an added "never-say-die" attitude, and the US is playing for a FIFA championship. I don't think it gets Bradley off the hook in the long term, but it likely gets him a pass to the World Cup.
Which has become part of the problem. We're supposed to go to the World Cup now. There's no danger of the US not making the World Cup any more. There needs to be progress shown in international play (outside of the region).
And while it's obvious that the skill level is still lacking, the US needs to play with guts and heart and a "never-say-die" attitude if they're ever going to go on to greater things on the world soccer stage.
Enjoy Sunday's final, because it'll be a historic, and probably, once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. An American team playing in a FIFA final.
(And how weird is it to hear the announcers in the Brazil-South Africa game say the winner has the right to play the US in the final. Absolutely bizarre.)

Shaq off to Cleveland, eh? It makes sense for all the parties involved.
Shaq gets to play with LeBron and take a shot at the one more title, and LeBron gets an experienced hand to clog up the middle to give him a real shot to finally get his hands on the Larry O'Brien Trophy.
But can this partnership really work? Can Shaq take the role of second (or third) banana on a team that has been anointed a favorite to make the NBA Finals? And more importantly, can he stay healthy to play the nearly 100 games it will take to get to next June's finals?
And how important is it now for Cleveland to get that title NOW? You've got one year with Shaq (though, you gotta think he won't go quietly into retirement after this year) and LeBron together before LeBron be can take his ball and leave.
And what of LeBron? How will a title for him be looked at in history when he had to have Shaq with him to win it? Obviously, Shaq's legacy is complete already, winning all the titles he has with the support of Kobe and Wade.
But Kobe's won one now without him. Will LeBron be able to win one without Shaq if he's able to win one with him? That question will haunt him if he isn't able to.
That's about all you'll get out of me about the NBA. Enjoy the draft.

Yes, Tuesday was a happy day in this household, as Luc Robitaille was named to the Hockey Hall of Fame.
With all the potential people who could have been named, there was that little seed of doubt amongst the national media types. But for us Southern California hockey fans, there was no doubt.
Lucky was a great ambassador for the game in the area besides being one of the greatest left wings to ever play the game. The fans love him, and he's loved the fans right back.
There's a reason ours is not the only Luc born to Southern California parents in the past 20 years or so.
Now, if we can only get a statue of Luc at Staples Center...

Thus ends the first day of double posting on this blog. And, hey, I even have a new fast food item (or maybe two by later tonight) to talk about for Friday. Hope I have the energy to write it...

The Ballad of South Carolina

(Not perfectly to the tune of "Don't Cry for Me Argentina")

Don't cry for me South Carolina
I only went to Argentina
It wasn't a big deal
All I needed was a quick feel
To clear my head
And now I've lost my cred

Who knew those e-mails were public
You'd think I'd keep them private
After all, I scolded Clinton
Yet I was stroking a new kitten
Never mind my transgressions
Even though my state was in session

I guess I'm just another Republican
Out seeking higher poll numbers
And some would say I found them
At the end of a shorter hem
I never thought I'd change
But turns out I'm human
And wanted to search the range

I've spent my career
Preaching to others steer clear
Of sin and seduction
But like my colleagues
I've fallen off my steed
And broke my promise
To you great people
I've broke my promise
And ended up as another Republican creep

Laugh out loud

I've been feeling a bit old recently.

Not old as in put-me-in-a-home old. Just outdated old. Nostalgic for the things that have come before.

Those of you paying attention to my status updates on Facebook may have noticed a pattern of movie quotes. Some of you were right on with the references. For others, however, the quotes didn't resonate the way they do for me.

Maybe it's because my moviegoing experiences of late have been ... pretty much nonexistent. And with a 2-year-old, sitting inside a theater is going to be a non-starter, and a drive-in will be a little more challenging than it was when he was a baby.

But even in the past few years, I can't really think of a whole lot of movies, comedies especially, that have inspired the love and affection that many of the films that we grew up with.

And most of all, the lines.

Maybe it's just the repeated viewings. Maybe it's just me getting older. But I'd like to think that comedies should provide those moments that keep you laughing over and over. And lines that you quote over and over.

Part of the problem, I know, is that many of my younger co-workers haven't EVEN seen any of the classic comedies of the 70s and 80s. No "Caddyshack." No "Blazing Saddles." Not even "Airplane." All movies that have shaped our lives.

Think to the more recent big-time comedies that you've seen in the past five or so years. How many have featured that great monologue? How many have had that one indelible line that you repeat over and over and becomes a part of the entire pop culture?

Many will point to "Napoleon Dynamite." That's great. Haven't seen it. Should have, probably, but haven't been able to work up the energy for it. And where's Jon Hader these days, by the way?

Me, the one film I can think of is "The 40-Year-Old Virgin." And there are two parts from it that stand out: Steve Carell yelling "Ohhhhhhh.... Kelly Clarkson!" in pain during the chest waxing scene. And, the other was Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen riffing: "You know how I know you're gay?"

And that came in an era when there were some pretty good comedies to see. From "Wedding Crashers" to "Knocked Up" to "Superbad," we got some very good, funny comedies. But other than "McLovin," how many of those films generated something memorable that permeated the entire pop culture public?

Before that, I have to go back to "American Pie" and "This one time, at band camp ..." for another line that I can remember becoming that memorable.

There's no more Rodney Dangerfield's telling his golfing partner, "I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?" No Leslie Nielsen's staring up saying "Nice beaver." No Gene Wilder's finishing a pep talk with "You know, morons."

Hell, Bill Murray has a whole wing of great movie quotes. Between his roles in "Caddyshack," "Ghostbusters," and "Stripes," the man has a litany of lines that are repeated to this day. How many people still scream "IT'S IN THE HOLE!" after a golf shot? How about "That's the FACT, Jack!" from "Stripes?"

Today, it seems, everyone goes for the easy laugh. The fart joke. Bad language for bad language's sake. It's lazy comedy. But it generates laughs, so they continue to do it. And it disappointed me to see that "Year One" was reviewed as nothing more than one long fart joke, especially with the people on board on that movie.

I hear good things about "The Hangover," so I'm really looking forward to see it, and very hopeful for it to join in some of the classics.

And Lord (or whatever your Deity) knows, we can all use a good laugh about now.

Jon plus Kate equals Hate

Everyone happy now? We just got to see a marriage disintegrate on national television.

Obviously, it was something that was going to happen in the long run. When you marry young and mature, you change, as these two certainly had. And having the kids only served to delay what was going to inevitably happen.

Jon got tired of being bossed around by the hot blond who said yes to him. And then there were the kids and then there was the commitments and the ... One day, he had to wake up and wonder where all those great years of partying he was supposed to do went.

And Kate, always with her bossing him around. Always putting him down. He looked like the little kid who was constantly being talked down to by his mom. This was going to happen to these two people ... eventually. He needed to grow up and she needed to ease up. And neither one of them wanted to give the other the satisfaction of making those changes.

But, there we were, in our tabloid world, pushing it along. Making it happen. He's out at some bar. She's in New York getting a haircut. He's sneaking out with some women. She's dating a bodyguard.

We were intruding into their private lives to the point that they became more infamous than Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton.

I know, what private lives? How can they have a private life when they were the ones who signed up for the TV series? But it's one thing to sign away your privacy, it's another to have everyone up in your business to the point that people were. These people had cars driving by their house like it was a tourist attraction.

Writing the three infamous names above, reminded me of something. We really haven't seen much out of those three lately. They've faded into a sort of obscurity lately. Behaving, well, almost normally.

And maybe that's why there's become this fascination with this ordinary couple with eight children. All the other tabloid favorites have packed up their toys and gone home (for now). Britney's not out flashing her hooch, Paris isn't banging some guy with a night vision camera and Lindsay's not driving down PCH hitting other cars (or breaking up with her girlfriend or throwing a tantrum on a set or ...).

So, now, another eight children will be faced with growing up in broken homes. With parents who won't speak to each other, other than to find out what time to pick them up, or grouse about their latest "mistake" raising their children. And, better yet, WE'RE STILL GOING TO FILM IT AND SEE IT ON OUR TV'S EVERY WEEK.

Some of my friends and former classmates on Facebook are going through the mess of a divorce with children. I watched as my niece and nephews dealt with their mom and dad splitting up. It's hell. And that's without cameras following them around, and the piles and piles of money that they got for being on a cable "reality" show.

In the end, those eight children are going to be stuck between two warring adults, who will one day, very likely ask them to make a choice: Mommy or Daddy.

And TLC will be there. Jumping up and down at the little ratings machine they've got on their hands. With advertisers galore wanting to get their products in front of the eyeballs that tune in each week to see the real life soap operas playing out in front of them. The same one that is playing out in communities across the country every day.

But since it's on TV, it can't be real. It can't really affect them.

And yet, more and more, it does. By continuing to watch, you're outright supporting the divorce. You're outright supporting that it's OK for the tabloids to splash every detail about people's lives on the cover of their magazine. Because it's anyone else's business but your own.

I have no desire to see this train wreck. We see enough of them every day across the world. Ones that have a lot more bearing on our day-to-day lives than a couple of young 30-somethings who got married too young, had a whole gaggle of children and then realized that they weren't right for each other, leaving said gaggle in the middle of what will be a very, VERY messy divorce hearing.

I for one won't be watching.

Hello Monday

So, yeah it's been a few days. And since I am on my cell phone while my car gets a tune, I'm going to keep it brief.

So, what's been going on out there in the world?

Oh yeah, big game-changing protests in Iran. And everyone has been all atwitter. I say good for the people of Iran. Glad they finally want to stand up against the double standard of a government built around religious ideals.

The same ideals that said stop protesting peacefully (mostly) or we'll respond with violence.

If history has taught us nothing through the years, it's that when you are responding with violence, you are usually in the wrong and trying to hold on to what little shred of power you have.

Look at the civil rights movements here in the U.S. People trying to hold on to the status quo were willing to take the fight to the peaceful marchers. Tell me there is no parallel.

Quick Interactive Question: What reality/documentary style series on TV is your favorite? Which one are almost ashamed to admit watching/have watched.

More thought for tomorrow when I'll be back at a full size keyboard.

Monday's Random Thoughts

ANNOYING BARBIE: Please make her go away.
Sarah Palin has worn out her welcome on my TV, Internet and wire services. Isn't there something she needs to be doing in Alaska?
The whole flap with David Letterman is just a distraction from the real things that need to be done in this country. Instead of worrying about health care reform or job creation, we're discussing the merits of a joke on a late night television show.
The joke, which I didn't see delivered, was marginal at best. It was an easy shot at a couple of easy targets. Let's face it, the joke was just as much a jab at Alex Rodriguez as it was at Bristol Palin.
But no, she's contorted it to be all about HER, to help play to her easily outraged base. The people who think that President Obama's a God-hating, socialist-leaning, cream puff who isn't going to protect America from a terrorist attack.
The same people who normally would look at a teen aged, single parent and judge them as a slut. A waste of space. A drain on society. But since it's Sarah's little girl, everything's OK, because she's going to make sure that all the other teens NEVER have sex and make the same mistake as her daughter.
It's that sort of double standard that the people making noise about the Republican party revel in. Don't judge us by our ACTIONS, judge us by what we SAY. And it's that act that's getting old.
More importantly, its those "acts" that are blockading real reform. Reform that many in the Republican party say they want and need to stay viable.
It's just another example of over-reactionary politics. Over a JOKE. You going to outlaw jokes next? Just because something says something marginally funny doesn't mean they really believe it. It's exaggeration. It's going for a laugh. It's FUNNY.
And if we can't laugh, then what do we really have?

RING-A-DING: Well, one week in, and I'm hooked.
My new phone is every bit the device I was looking for. Solid phone (after all, that's what it's SUPPOSED to do). The music player is great (keeping me from having to get a MP3 player). The texting with the QWERTY keyboard is great (and big enough for my big fingers). And the video/touch screens are beautiful.
Well worth the purchase price. Of course, ask me again in a year (when I soured on my last phone).

HAPPY NOW LAKER FAN? Thank goodness it's over.
The Lakers got their ring. Kobe got his legacy. And the fans in LA got to have their mini-riot.
I've never understood the need to destroy things to celebrate a championship. What's wrong with, I don't know, being happy with your fellow man? Quiet reflection? A little cry?
A team of guys who make more money than you in a two months than you earn in your lifetime win a championship, and you celebrate by setting mini-fires, tearing up landscaping and moshing?
Sigh.

Open Letters

Dear city of Moreno Valley:
Driving through your town is a big pain, thanks to your love of traffic signals (that you don't have synced).
But do you really have to make things worse by having construction on nearly ever main east-west/north-south roadway that leads to a freeway?
Seriously. In the two-plus years I've been a regular driver through the town, I can count on one hand the number of days I don't recall coming to, or going around, areas of road construction.
I know that some of them are not your fault, as they work to upgrade water pipelines through the city. But c'mon. The other day I dove onto a side street to get around a jam caused by construction on Cactus ... only to run into more road work. As I turned back to Cactus, I came upon the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. First, there was the "END ROAD WORK" sign, followed by, not 10 yards away, a "ROAD WORK AHEAD" sign.
It was absurd.
About as absurd as the flashing arrow sign being placed across the busy intersection from where the lane actually ends (as it has been at Perris and Alessandro recently). The "LEFT LANE CLOSED AHEAD" sign is great, but the arrows give us no clue as to when it actually closes.
While we appreciate the fact that you're upgrading your infrastructure, and welcoming new businesses (the reason for the construction at Perris/Alessandro), isn't there a way to help the beleaguered drivers going through your city?
Sincerely, The angry guy yelling and pulling his hair out at every light that turns yellow just before he gets there.

Dear gas/oil companies:
"Summer blend?" "Increased demand?" "Market conditions?"
Uh-huh. Sure.
It was really, really nice of you to raise your prices by 40 cents in about two weeks recently. I love the fact that you get to do that and give us those excuses. Because if any other industry did it, there'd be riots.
You've got us by the balls, and you know it. We're so conditioned to paying whatever you charge, that you can change it at will and we'll keep coming.
How about easing up a bit on that profit expectation for a little bit longer? Take it in the shorts just like the rest of us, who've endured pay cuts, furloughs and layoffs.
Other businesses have. Stater Bros., for example, posted lower profits over a recent period ... but saw sales go up. It inspires loyalty in your customers when you make the effort to make things affordable for them when you sacrifice your bottom line.
Well, hope all your research and development helps you when the revolution comes ...
Sincerely, The guy who's looking forward to getting a hybrid or electric car

Dear Laker Fan:
I love your enthusiasm. I really do.
But let's talk about those car flags for a second.
They were all cute earlier this decade, and it's a nice way to show your team pride without putting a permanent sticker on your car, but there comes a point when enough IS enough.
And really, I have no problem if you want to put ONE on your car. Because you know when (if?) the LA Kings make a run to the playoffs, there'll be one in my car.
But two? Your car looks like it should have diplomatic plates and secret service riding along. And three (or more)? Forget about it. We got the point with the first one. You're a Laker fan. But if you're a big enough Laker fan to be sporting three flags now, shouldn't you just break down and get a cling for the back of your car or something? And why just break them out now? Why not drive with them all season?
In the meantime, go Lakers. Finish this thing off so Kobe can get his ring without Shaq and my nights can get quieter.
Sincerely, the guy who's just bitter because he hasn't had a reason to put a team flag in his car.

Dear Costco:
Why do you tease us so much?
You bring in a new product that we try and love ... only to not see it there the next time we're in one of your warehouses (sometimes, only a couple of days later).
I understand that's the nature of your business. And that you only have so much room for some of these items. But ... they're sooooo good.
Sigh. Better now.
Sincerely, the guy who bought three bags of apple chips before they disappeared again (and after the baked potato chips with pepper were replaced)

Dear Gary Bettman (and anyone else in the NHL front office):
You need to do something about this schedule.
Get new TV partners, shorten the regular season, shorten the time period of the playoffs. Anything. There is no excuse for you to have been in the position for the NBA to even have had a chance to finish before you did this week.
But that almost happened. The Lakers could have finished a sweep on Thursday before your Game 7 was played, and that would have been tragic.
Your regular season starts a good two- to three-weeks before the NBA's does. There is no good reason for you to still be playing at the same time.
Let's face facts. Your league needs all the coverage it can get in the MSM, and you can't finish before the more popular league? You're already fighting baseball and NASCAR for extra eyeballs, and you're taking on the Lakers? With your final games going head-to-head with the NBA Finals? Hell, a Denver-Orlando final would be getting more coverage than your storied championship.
I know you have a lot on your plate, what with the whole fight to keep the Coyotes in Phoenix (and out of Jim Balsillie's hands) and a 2009-10 season that will be interrupted by the Olympics (and BTW, shutting down the season for Canada in 2010, and not for Russia in 2014 is bad form, especially with all the Russian stars you promote). But let's find a way to finish this thing sooner. End of May would be nice.
Sincerely, someone tired of seeing the NHL taking a back seat