The Long and Winding Road to McCartney Had a Major Detour

After Paul McCartney finished his nearly three hour set (pre-encore) by playing “Hey, Jude,” I turned to Gina and told her:

“That’s it, I can die now. But I don’t have plans to do it any time soon.”

Sure, it is a bit of innocent hyperbole following the bucket list of bucket list moments – it’s my all-time favorite song performed by its artist. But after the previous few weeks we had gone through, it was nowhere close to innocent.

Less than two weeks before the concert, I was rushed to the hospital for what turned out to be a stroke.

Yeah, a stroke.

Now, let’s get it out of the way – I’m fine. Back to my normal self – whatever constituted normal in my world. I took a week off work, spent the next week working from home and returned to the office this past week. Still taking things slow, but it’s the perfect time, because the Friday before all this started was our last team sporting event. If you want a point of reference about what happened to me, you can look at Pennsylvania senate candidate John Fetterman.

I woke up on a Monday morning, and I had a blood clot in my brain that was jumbling up all my communication skills. People – including Gina, who called 911 immediately – would ask me questions and I couldn’t find the answers. I had some answers – I knew my name, I knew where I was – but it just wasn’t coming to me the way should. I wasn’t showing any of the signs they tell you to look for – drooping face, lack of strength (I walked down the stairs at home by myself) – just the fact that I wasn’t making any sense. My memory of some of it is foggy, but Gina says she asked what city we lived in, and I answered “Thursday.”

Within minutes, I was at Loma Linda University Medical Center. The folks at Loma Linda were amazing. Within minutes, I was getting a CT scan. Not long after that, it was off for an MRI (never want to do that again). Within three hours of arriving via ambulance, I was in the operating room as they went in and cleared the clot: And I was awake for the entire procedure. At some point, I realized they were playing music in the background (“Hotel California” was the first song I heard). Just was they finishing, I was reciting the lyrics to the song (“Stuck in the Middle With You”) that was playing at the time (singing would be a charitable description). I was back to “normal.” Heck, the anesthesiologist and I had a conversation about hockey (it was the day of Game 1 of the Kings-Oilers series). Turns out he loves going to Reign games, at which point I tried to sell him on the Fury, which ended when he said he tried it once, but didn’t like all the diving the players did (he must have come to a game against San Diego … I kid).

By mid-afternoon Monday, I was out of my ICU bed and sitting up watching TV, ready to go. The following morning, that was the first thing I wanted to do after waking up – get out of bed and sit up. I got a visit from the doctor who had done the surgery, and he spelled out all the issues I might run into – speech or physical therapy to help me regain any skills I might have lost, all the things associated with a stroke. Not long after he left, the therapists came in and tested me out – fine motor skills like brushing my teeth, and then walking around the ICU. After our short walk, they turned to Gina and I and said that they were going to let them know that I wasn’t going to need any of the therapy.

Tuesday late afternoon, I was transferred to a regular room, hooked up to far fewer gadgets, and free to move around without having to page a nurse to help me unhook or watch over me. And Wednesday morning I was given the all clear to go home.

Since then, everything has been good. We went to a baseball game that Saturday and attended the McCartney last Friday all the way in Inglewood.

As far as the cause? Stress played a role – the weeks leading up to the incident was full of the unease from the stolen McCartney tickets to some work-related drama that was causing all kinds of frustration. But that was a bit player in the process. Recently, I was diagnosed with atrial fibrillation, which was causing high blood pressure. Afib, I was told, is pretty common. I was prescribed some blood pressure meds, and was told in a very casual way to take baby aspirin and sent on my way. Because of several factors (relatively young age, non-smoker and non-drinker), I was considered to have a very low risk for any effects from the meds or the condition. I should also note that the Afib was found by doctors after another recent emergency room visit that turned out to be a pinched nerve in my arm. We now know how that risk assessment turned out. So there’s been some medication adjustments and a new focus forward.

As far as what I can pass on from this experience, a few thoughts. First, know the signs. The suggested acronym to think of is FAST: Face (does one side droop when you smile?), Arms (does one side fall when held up?), Speech (slurred, or strange when repeating a simple phrase), and Time (as in, don’t waste it, get to the ER). The one thing that I was told by the hospital on a follow up call is to absolutely call for an ambulance. The ambulance will get you to the hospital faster, and will be able to alert the hospital that a patient is incoming, rather than just having someone drive you there. After my procedure was done, they were gearing up for another stroke activation alert in the ER, and they were coming in via ambulance. I have no doubt that Gina’s no hesitation call to 911 that morning was what has me back to normal today.

Going forward, it’s the same push, to be better with one big subtraction: caffeine is out – it’s a big Afib no-no. I’ve never been a coffee or tea person, but the (too many) diet colas I was drinking every day are gone. Chocolate is another one that’s being severely cut back.

So, why am I telling you all this now? I don’t know. Just the overwhelming desire to write about it, I suppose. To tell my story. It’s what I do.

Anyway, I just thought it would help me process everything to put it out there. I’m not dying any time soon, so don’t lose any sleep. Know that if you’re reading this from my feed, that you matter, and not to ignore anything that might be bothering you health wise. We’re all in this together.

 

A Gone Too Soon Moment

Grace was (very probably) the first person outside of my sports/elementary school bubble I met when I started junior high. Moving into junior high is the first real shove out of the comfort zone you're raised in. This makes the transition from elementary to junior high so much more difficult than the move from junior high to high school. 

We didn't "hit it off," probably because I did something stupid. Or because I was adjusting to life full-time with glasses (with really, really big frames that were probably too big for my face). Or because she wasn't there to suffer fools. But we did establish a relationship that was friendly and helpful, like you do when you're serious enough about your education that you realize that you don't have to do it all on your own all of the time.

We'd have classes together through the next six years - and seeing her in a class meant that you knew that there was one person in the class that would not cause unnecessary drama. In fact, to my knowledge, there was never any drama attached to her. She came to school, had her friends, got her education and lived her life. I'd bump into her (and her eventual husband) working at the local Target (back when, ya know, you could be a college student who could work at Target and go to school at the same time), and we were always friendly, have a quick talk (if we could) and move on.

And then, as we do, we moved on. Each of us has our own lives and paths to take. We drift apart from people who were friendly high school acquaintances, and cultivate new friends to add to the ones you may have kept touch with from your original bubble. Until social media, that is.

Like many, we reconnected on Facebook. Our relationship on Facebook was pretty much the same as it was in school - friendly acquaintances who shared the same basic upbringing in the shadow of Disneyland. A pair of Gen X kids who watched the world change around them and have their lives reflected back in the Offspring song "The Kids Aren't Alright." (Which shouldn't be a surprise considering the fact that Dexter went to high school in roughly the same period six miles down the road.) We got peeks at each other's lives, and commented on the milestones we each reached.

At our last high school reunion (30 years, almost 2 1/2 years ago now), my wife and I had a long conversation with her. Grace, like so many from my class, welcomed my wife as one of our own. And she was able to share some of her war stories of working in education with Gina, who had more than her share of war stories from working the playground - and getting ready to start her journey toward becoming a substitute and working toward her full credential.

And then we went on our way again. Back to Facebook friends. Hadn't seen her since that reunion. 

But that didn't mean that the news of her passing last night didn't hit me like a ton of bricks.

As I've pondered it the last 12-plus hours, I've gone many different directions with my emotions. We weren't close - she had plenty more friends from school with whom she was closer, especially the people from her elementary school bubble. But I guess it was her status in my life as the first person I met and developed a relationship with in junior high that made the news extra harsh to read.

But more than all that, I guess, is the fact that I don't feel like this should be possible. I don't feel like I should be at the age that I should be mourning the loss of a fellow high school classmate. She's not the first from my class, either. But she is the first of us to have passed after reaching the half century mark.

And maybe that's it. Almost all the folks from my high school class has reached the age of 50, and that doesn't seem like it should be possible. We can't be 50. Fifty is old. And I'm not old.

But, then again... I down ibuprofen and acetaminophen on a regular basis to deal with daily aches and pains. I had a hip X-ray recently that the doctor said he could see arthritis becoming an issue. And the same hip was causing sciatic nerve pain for the better part of three months. Many of my classmates - Grace included - have already seen their children graduate from high school. Some are grandparents. We're all at the point where our bodies have more miles on them than our mind is willing to accept - some of us more than others. You know how many of us probably walked off concussions back in the day and kept playing? I know I did at least once or twice, if not more. 

That's why I wasn't kicking or screaming when it came time for me to have THAT cancer screening. You know, THAT one. And it went smoothly, and the word is that everything looked good. Should be fine for another 7-to-10 years. Considering I lost a grandfather to cancer, and all the cigarette smoke I grew up inhaling around members of my extended family, I should be grateful that, for now, everything seems OK. 

But it wasn't for Grace. And that's what's so frustrating about it. She, by all accounts, was doing it right. I don't think she abused her body any more or less than the rest of us have over the years. But cancer chose her. The mom of two who spent her adult life as a teacher to countless other young people. It's not fair. 

Then again, life never is.

Fuck Cancer.

Little Boys, Little Girls

Little boys, little girls
    Journeyed miles from home
Little boys, little girls
    Seeking freedom, nothing more
Little boys, little girls
    Following liberty’s glow
Little boys, little girls
    Done nothing wrong
Little boys, little girls
    Ripped from mama’s arms
Little boys, little girls
    Played as political pawns
Little boys, little girls
    Taken from all they’ve ever known
Little boys, little girls
    Branded as problems that can’t be fixed
Little boys, little girls
    Left lost in a system
Little boys, little girls
    While mom & dad sit in a cell
Little boys, little girls
    Crying tears of sadness
Little boys, little girls
    That’s all they are
Little boys, little girls
    Babies that need love
Little boys, little girls

— Bill Norris

Blue In the Face

In the aftermath of Tuesday’s events, I have been trying, like the plurality of voters in this country, to come to grips with what happened. Obviously, it has not been easy.

We can talk until we’re blue in the face about the reasons it happened, and I can understand the frustration in some corners that led to it. But there are some things that I’m still struggling with that I need to get out there.

I think the first thing that kills me about all this is that it seems like a giant step backwards. We are living in a rapidly changing world, one that should be taking us into new frontiers in science and technology. Maybe space exploration. Maybe the flying cars we all thought we’d have by now. Maybe the next breakthrough that will lead to a cure for cancer or AIDS. But none of those things seem possible now, because we’d rather make things “great again.” How are we going to make things great when we’re taking things away from the people who need them? How is the next generation of leaders going to be ready when public school funding is slashed or, worse, books are changed to express viewpoints that go against scientific fact?

By the way, the next thing people will need to realize is that while his name is on the building (so to speak), this will be the Mike Pence presidency. Trump has ZERO policy experience on what it takes to write and understand the laws and what is able to be done within them. And the general consensus is that he was elected because people wanted to shake up Washington. Sure, but you really didn’t since the same big name Republicans will still be there. Mitch McConnell will still be in charge of the Senate. Paul Ryan will still have influence. And dozens of other well entrenched members of Congress will still be throwing their weight around in direct pissing matches with the Zaphod Beeblebrox of Presidents.

Third, I fear for my professions. There is the one I am most known for – journalism – and the one I am studying to become – teacher. The level of vitriol spit out at the people who do the yeoman’s work of telling us the news everyday, for way less money than they deserve, is maddening. A journalist’s job is to report what they see. Hold up a mirror to the world and put that mirror out for the rest of us who couldn’t be there in person to see. And if you don’t like what you’re seeing reflected in that mirror, then that’s not the media’s fault. Most of us deal in FACTS, not opinion. The blame hurled at the media is because of the great number of commentators that are on TV to fuel ratings on the news channels.

And the other profession? Well, that’s a multi-pronged issue. First, you have the issue I talked about above: What’s going to happen to the education system? I can imagine that there will be more pushes to break up teacher unions, cut pay/benefits and the like. And what will be teaching them? That’s a pretty scary thought. But then there’s what to do about the children now? I already had to talk down a youngster during the primaries who was crying about her family and what Trump was promising he would do to people like them. (And we've seen the reaction in the real world, including a substitute teacher's belittling of a student.) And then there’s the real idea that we have given free license to bullying in this country. We saw instances in schools posted on social media already. We already have enough problems at the schools keeping children from bullying, fighting and making threats. And now we have the Cyberbully in Chief.

Lastly, and along those lines, is the near glee that Trump supporters are posting memes to put down a large class of people out there … which I happen to be a part of. I haven’t had a full-time job for more than five years. We haven’t had our own insurance for more than two. We’re receiving aid for food and bills. And the amount of posts that degrade people who have the severe need for these services because they are “too lazy” to get a job is offensive. You hiring? I work three jobs (all seasonal part-time/contract/freelance that come with no benefits and no guarantee of full-time stability) and go to school very nearly full time – but I’m a lazy bastard for needing food, cash and medical aid? “Oh, we didn’t mean you …” Well, yeah you did. Because by posting that you swept every person using these services into the same pile. And the very real possibility that some or all of those things will go away is scary. My weight loss is a direct result of getting depression under control with the help of medicine. What about the medication my wife needs to keep her asthma at bay? At the very least my son will still be covered (I hope), but …

And that’s not the only thing I have to worry about. My wife is Latino. Her parents came here from Central America, and took Reagan’s AMNESTY to become citizens (both came legally, by the way). And that makes my son Latino. We make it very clear to him that he has this background, and while his education in Spanish isn’t going as well as we’d like, it is an important part of who he is. And you know how many other Latinos, blacks, LGBT, Muslim, et al people I know that may be in serious trouble of losing rights because of this?

So, I’ve said my piece. Will I reach a point of acceptance? Um … What does the Magic 8 Ball say? Oh, yeah, “Ask Again Later.” Much later.

RIP Rowdy Roddy Piper, the man who made WWF

There are heroes. There are villians. There are anti-heroes. And then there are legends.

Roddy Piper was all four. And he was amazing at being all four.

And let's face it, if it weren't for him, the WWF -- now the WWE -- wouldn't have become the machine it is today.

Yes, Hulk Hogan carried the ball as Vince McMahon made his move nationally. But it was Piper who made watching Hogan interesting.

Seriously, think back to that era. Who else had the ability, skills and -- most importantly -- charisma to stand toe-to-toe with Hogan, Mr. T, Cyndi Lauper and every other entertainer that became part of that big Rock and Wrestling connection? Sure there were guys who could go, and they played their roles as cast (Iron Sheik, Volkoff, etc.). But would they have launched a national brand? I think not.

He had verbal timing that was unmatched. He wasn't a super muscled guy, he was someone you could relate to. He was the guy who, if you met him, you were sure you were meeting the guy -- not the character he was in the ring. The one you could have a beer with -- you couldn't have a beer with Hogan, he was too much of a hero to be hanging out at some bar (even though, in retrospect, he obviously did). He was foreign, but not in a way that was meant to scare you like the really evil guys from Iran or Russia or "Parts Unknown."

And he was able to be the guy who could slide into the role as hero, but never in a way that made you uncomfortable -- he was Stone Cold Steve Austin before Stone Cold. He was a guy who spoke his mind and if you agreed with him, great. If not, be prepared to get a coconut broke on your head or a fire extinguisher fired in your face.

Think about the performers today, and who are the guys that are going to be the ones who last in our minds. John Cena is Hogan, and he's good at his job. But who are the guys who the fans find interesting? The ones who are "real"? Daniel Bryan (Bryan Danielson), who may not be the talker that others are, but is real and has been embraced because of it. Dolph Ziggler -- @HeelZiggler -- a guy who the fans love, is considered a "face" but has never really taken that hero role. And then there was CM Punk, probably the most like Piper, except he found a way to walk away on his own terms.

RIP Hot Rod. Thanks for entertaining us. Let the bagpipes welcome you home.

End of the ECHL Era for the Ontario Reign -- Jason Christie

There's always a little bit of information left over when you put together season ending stories. Here's some of the quotes that didn't make the paper in our Reign finale and the conversation with Justin Kemp. 

Coach Jason Christie is a general on the ice and behind the bench.

But even a general can have his cracks.

The Reign's coach the past four seasons, his future in Ontario immediately was changed when Ontario's move into the American Hockey League was made official. Where minor league coaches are just like the players in that they're always looking to move up, Christie had the double duty of keeping his team focused on the final two months also while knowing that when the season was over, the job he currently held -- that of ECHL coach in Ontario -- would no longer be needed.

Not that he ever let on.

"Obviously, I always felt like I was in a great community. I’ll sit down with Darren (this)week and we’ll go from there. At the end it wouldn’t be fair if I was thinking anything different from what the players thought. That it’s now. Any job, you can’t really look ahead any, you have to completely focus on the task at hand. Losing Harpo (former assistant coach Mark Hardy, who got a job in the American Hockey League) this year, and just solo, it was kind of a thing of keep moving forward, day by day. I had to approach it like that. It wouldn’t be fair to the players if there were any concern at all."

And he said he never saw his players attention waver during the final two months either.

"I have to give the guys a lot of props for that. There was no hesitation, there was no thought – they came to play for the Ontario Reign. And I have to give them props for that for sure."

Not that everything was wine and roses at the start for the coach, who started his tenure by cleaning house, earning some scorn. 

"When I first came in here, I let go some of the guys, I got a lot of backlash from it. (a different reporter) wrote a pretty harsh, one-sided interview that we just had to put aside. And Harpo and I put our nose down, and we just brought a great group of people in here to play the game. Hats go off to the players who showed up here each and every day."

But being in Southern California the past four years, Christie has seen the sport of hockey grow -- both across the region, and in Ontario, also thanks in part to the efforts of his players.

"I used to play against Long Beach and that. Anaheim Ducks winning the Stanley Cup, the LA Kings winning the Stanley Cup, and so it’s brought a bunch of success. My kids are in the game of hockey. They play, and they go to school, and there’s just as much LA Kings Anaheim Ducks as there is Dodgers and Angels. That says a lot for the game to hockey.

"But again, I think it’s different, because our fan base really rallied around us. I think they enjoyed how the team played. The group of guys we had that are in the community day in and day out. The school appearances, the going to meet kids at Dave and Busters and just those little things, a lot of shoulder to shoulder time with Ontario Reign players."

End of the ECHL Era for the Ontario Reign -- Justin Kemp

There's always a little bit of information left over when you put together season ending stories. Here's some of the quotes that didn't make the paper in our Reign finale and the conversation with Justin Kemp. 

Justin Kemp may have left his post with the Reign when the team announced its move into the American Hockey League. He was a regular visitor at the games, and still visited with the team in the locker room area.

But it was definitely a different experience, he said.

"I mean it is definitely different, because you’re watching it as a fan as opposed to an employee of the team. At the same time I still felt the expectations for the fans, for the team itself, hockey ops staff, of course the front office staff. From that aspect, not a lot changed. Certainly my passion and desire to win never wavered. In some ways it was kind of nice because I had the opportunity to sit back and watch it and take advantage and just enjoy it from a hockey standpoint without any of the other distractions."

One of the hallmarks of the Reign over the last few years has been the addition of players from Southern California. From contract players such as Kyle Bigos to players such as Matt White, Dennis Brown and CJ Stretch, the ECHL version of the Reign allowed local players a chance to play at home.

It wasn't by design, as coach Jason Christie was able to track down the best players for his squad, but it didn't hurt the bottom line, either, Kemp said.

"I think it was probably Jason finding the right guys. But any time you can find a quality player that’s in your own back yard, that’s a plus. In the 20 years or so that I’ve been in this business, I’ve seen so much growth in the terms of the number of players that have come out of Southern California who have played at some sort of professional level. You have some legitimate talent now. It’s not just a novelty any more to have a player on your roster, like a Kyle Bigos, for instance, from right here in Upland. That’s not an accident. He’s a legitimate player, especially for this league and spent some time up in the American League. If you see it’s between two players one of which is local and one isn’t, yeah, there’s all kinds of reasons why you would do that, none of which are smaller than the fact you might get more fans in the building. But, let’s face it, we’re an American-run business, it’s cheaper, more economical to have an American player than a Canadian player."

As far as Kemp's future, it's still in the air. But he's done resting and is itching to take on a new challenge.

“At this point, I’ve realized I don’t think what I anticipated is how hard it is to figure out what it is that’s going to trigger your interest after having something that’s been as fulfilling as this over the last near decade,” he said. “I kind of thought I’ll take a month off and I’ll be ready to jump back into something. Mentally I’m ready to jump back into something, because I’m not used to having time on my hands like this. But it’s really important for me to find the right fit.

“I think to have an opportunity to start up another franchise somewhere or even help resurrect an existing franchise somewhere, would be something of interest to me. If not, something completely outside of team sports but involves growing another business. I’ve looked at a bunch of different things, but nothing has caught just yet. But I’m trying to be patient and methodical about it. I’m confident that at some point here, before this year is out, something will fall into place.”