Revisiting MySpace

A recent post from a friend made me want to go back and find something I had written six years ago on my MySpace blog. Well, it was gone. But, thankfully, I wasn't the only one, so it was a simple click and wait to get my blogs back -- not online, but downloaded for my own archives.

So, in honor of the friend who had an incident that inspired me to find my blogs -- the blog below -- I post an experience from six years ago that is the reason I will never have Verizon for my home service ever -- EVEEEEERRRR -- again.

I am tired of INCOMPETENT FUCKING PEOPLE.

When did customer service become an option?

When did job pride become obsolete?

OK, yeah, I'm in a bit of a foul mood. And all it took was one utility company.

The utility company in question, Verizon, has for months (years?) bombarded my apartment offering me their fantastic DSL service. Envelopes came in the mail - almost weekly - touting their wonderful service. When we got a new computer, it was finally time to take them up on their offer.

We signed up. And waited. Continued to receive offers in the mail touting the service.

Two weeks for the modem kit to be sent. Another week for the "Service Ready Date." Another week after the "Service Ready Date," with a second date assigned. And, yet another week after repeated calls to tech support to finally get them to send someone out to ACTUALLY PLUG THE THING IN TO THEIR SYSTEM IN THE APARTMENT COMPLEX BOX.

*DEEP BREATH*

So, last week, it came time to transfer the service. You see, we're picking up our little apartment and moving. Call the phone company, and no problem, here's your new phone number when you move in March. Oh, but wait, there's no DSL service available where you're going. All the available lines have been taken. Or, they're not taking more orders so we can sell you the upcoming fiber optic lines. Let me transfer you to the DSL folks so you can tell them to stop the service when you move out.

Talk to the next person. Explain that we're leaving in mid-March, so please cancel the service on March 13. OK, all set.

Fast-forward two hours. Time to check the e-mail.

"We're sorry, your DSL service has been cancelled, and you might want to take care of any address books, etc." (or something like that).

After a month of waiting for my service to start, it took two hours for them to figure out how to pull the plug.

Time for another phone call. First, I get useless tech support. They transfer me to the "retention" department, who in turns transfers me to another tech support person. I hang up. I call back, seething.

I now know how to talk straight to the retention folks. I get a pleasant person who is amazed at how idiotic they are, and tells me that she'll work on it. She talks with the tech supervisors and assures me all is well. They'll be able to fix it without any service interruption.

Wanna bet how that one turned out?

Woke up this morning. No DSL. One week after I had called to ask them to shut it down on March 13 (one day after we're actually out), they've got it turned off.

Livid, I called. Decided I'd try tech services, in case it wasn't the shut down. Was put through the paces of the call center checklist of NOTHING I HAD CHANGED WITH THE SYSTEM. Before I exploded, I asked to be transfered to the retention folks. (Oh, the beauty here is I have to introduce myself and give them my phone number each time). "What's going on with my account?" "Oh, well, let's see. Oh, you need to talk to tech support."

ARRRRGGGGHHHH!

Hang up. Try again.

Go straight to retention folks. "Oh, here it is. Yeah, the order was sent through to be cut off today. And once they send the order through, there's no changing it, no matter what a customer requests. And, there's another order for your service to be started back up. But that could take up to seven days."

Seven days. We're gone five days after that. What else can you do for me?

"Well, maybe the tech level three folks can work around it." Gee, that would be nice.

Somehow, I don't think I got the tech level three guy. I got more runaround. Told him (along with others along the way that I'm going back to AOL dialup).

Decided I needed to find someone higher up in the food chain and called the phone company itself. Of course, found another drone call center worker. She apologized again for her company's idiocy, TRIED TO SELL ME ON OTHER SERVICES ... and proceeded to transfer me to the DSL retention folks.

After another five minutes on hold, I finally let the poor woman who had to field the call have it. Told them thanks for nothing, cancel the second order to restart their precious little service (because, since you can't fix it TODAY, what good is going to do me?) and told her that since they've got us grabbing our ankles and SOL, you might as well take the service and shove it straight up my ass (well, I did say two of those things).

Her response? "Sorry. Yeah, that's kinda bad. I can't believe this is happening. I'll put a note on your account to not charge you the amount for the service. And I'll make sure to note it was a connection issue."

So, if there's anyone from Verizon who comes trolling along and finds this rant, I'll have you know, I'll be happy the next two weeks doing AOL dial-up, then hooking into a cable modem at my new address.

Thanks for nothing.