The Father-in-Law Problem

When I started writing this post, it was going to detail our vacation and the travails of traveling with at 2-year-old who doesn't know better and a 72-year-old who just doesn't care.
But the more I wrote, the more it rambled and the longer it got. And really, I could go into every detail of dealing with Gina's dad on the trip and it would've never gotten to the point.
The point being that while his mother, who turned 100 on our trip, is a woman who is old, Gina's dad is a guano-crazy Old Man.
The problem is, in reality, that he isn't really crazy. He just likes playing with people.
And it's gotten him trouble now. And by extension, us too.
His doctor has diagnosed him with dementia caused by Alzheimer's. And the doctor thinks Gina's dad belongs in a home - to the point that he's searched and found one that will take him and his insurance.
Dementia, we buy. He has massive anxieties that cause him to act irrationally. He has delusions that he's still a virile young man who should be desired (or, at the very least, *ahem* serviced).
But the Alzheimer's? We're not so sure. He is still pretty sharp, especially when it comes to the way he lays down the guilt, weasels the things he wants or doles out the verbal punishment for anyone who dares cross him.
The doctor based his opinion on a couple of encounters with Gina's dad at appointments, and by the fact that he won't take care of himself.
The first encounter came one day when Gina's dad rode his four-wheel scooter to the appointment, when his county-paid-for caregiver was supposed to bring him. When they asked where the caregiver was, and how he got there, he lied rather than face the scorn.
The second came when Gina's sister came with him to another appointment. Being sort of polite, he reintroduced Gina's sister to the doctor by saying, you remember my daughter? Gina's sister heard the doctor's response under his breath "He doesn't remember he's introduced her."
And not taking care of himself? That's nothing new. He's never taken care of himself. He's always had someone around who could do it. Gina's mom endured years of verbal and physical abuse and stayed to help take care of him until her dying days. His gratitude: One visit to the hospital in her final two weeks.
Since her death, he's had his share of people who have pitched in to help, from family to friends to government agencies. It finally got to the point that he got the caretakers who were to help cook and clean and take care of him for the past year-plus. Well, until just before we left.
Just before we left, his latest caretaker quit. Of Mexican descent, she couldn't take the racist she was caring for (oh, he hates the Mexicans - never mind his granddaughter is half-Mexican). Or the sexual harassment he was doling out. I told you he still believed himself to be a virile stud - he has porn scattered around his bedroom.
But most recently, he's had Gina's sister, who moved in to help her stem the financial tide in her life. He's leaned on her, using her so much, it's not fair to her, her husband or their 8-month-old daughter. So, they're getting ready to move out, and he's upset.
He's on a bevy of medications, and he knows what he's supposed to take and when. He handled all of them while on the trip to Costa Rica. But because he never took care of himself after having bypass surgery to clear clots in his legs, he's back to the point he was before the surgery - hurting and having troubles walking (he moved like a glacier when he did walk). I would bet he's in danger of losing his feet at some point as well.
Which leaves us in a quagmire. What do we do? The way I see it, there are four options.
1) We take the doctor's advice and we put him in the home.
There are days when I've had enough and I'm ready just to do it. But in our hearts, we know it's not right. He's still sharp enough to get himself around. At one point, the doctor had enough and signed him into the psych ward of the hospital on a three-day mandatory hold. That scared him some, because the people in there were actually insane.
But it didn't scare him enough that he started following the doctor's advice, which leaves the doctor positive he can't be trusted (he can't) to take care of himself and needs to be in this Alzheimer's specialty home. We worry, though, that being trapped there will lead to his death sooner rather than later.
2) We get him into a private senior living home that will give him freedom, but also have staff around in case.
This option is probably the right one ... but how? Most of those won't take his state or federal insurance (that is if the state hasn't already cut it).
And lets look at the finances of his kids. Well, there's Gina and I, two journalists who had their pay cut and have a 2-year-old. His other daughter, who has the young baby and a stepdaughter to take care of every other weekend, and who's husband has been looking for work. And there's his son, the bouncer at the strip club, who's trying to go to culinary school and better his life.
Not a lot of extra money floating around. Especially when in that environment, we think he'd thrive and live a lot longer.
3) We ship him off to Costa Rica.
Most of his family is still there, and have told us not to worry, they would look after him. He likely would thrive having all the family around him. Being back there would probably be good for him, as well, because it wouldn't cost him much to live.
But, if he went, he'd probably lose all the Social Security he gets now (admittedly, it's not that much, but it's enough he'd freak out about it) and any of the other government help he gets.
And then there's his kids. It's not like any of us can drop everything at a moment's notice and get to Costa Rica (see: finances) if something were to go wrong. Though, if we're to believe him, when he does die, there's a huge inheritance waiting in Costa Rica. We just have to go get it.
4) The last option is just to leave things the way they are.
Gina's sister is moving out, in part, to help him. If she's there when the county housing inspectors come, he'll lose some of his housing help. And lord knows, in this state, they'll be looking at everything to make cuts.
But once she's gone, she won't be there at his beck and call. We're out in Colton (with Gina working another hour out in Palm Springs). And Gina's brother can't/won't pitch in because of a lot of issues between the two.
So, this is our problem. Piling on top of all our other problems. We run through each of these scenarios and their pros and cons and never come to a viable conclusion (because winning the lottery isn't one - and lord knows Gina's dad tried to gamble his way to prosperity many times).
What to do? *Shrug* Got me. I'm looking for suggestions. Got any?