Monday's Random Thoughts

 

A lot of things happening, and a lot of thoughts, so let’s see if we can pound them into some sort of shape.

A DIFFERENT TIME: I’ve been saying that phrase a lot lately. I can trace some of it back to the fact that we had a small high school reunion to celebrate the 35^th anniversary of our graduation (damn, I’m old). Anyway, as we reminisced, there were a lot of things that we shook our heads about that just wouldn’t fly in today’s world.

But as we laughed a lot of that away that night, something came and slapped us across the face this past week, as my alma mater – Anaheim’s Loara High School – ended up in the news for something other than the latest news about our most famous graduate, Gwen Stefani.

Two women came forward to file complaints about a former member of the band direction staff at Loara, who they have alleged groomed then sexually abused them – including fathering a child. (I don’t believe he was officially a member of the faculty at that point – at least he’s not listed as “faculty” in my yearbooks.) It happened during the years I was at Loara, but I didn’t run heavily in band circles, so this came as news to me – but did not surprise me in the least.

There was a lot of things happening around our school that easily could be described as creepy or skeevy. Rumors about relationships – appropriate and otherwise – would find their way around the school. There was one in athletics that probably wasn’t happening, but certainly seemed like it was. And there was a teacher from my freshman year who was absolutely engaging in ways that were wholly inappropriate (even for the time). He only lasted one year at our school.

Friends from my era have come forward as the news has come out to support and confirm at least the knowledge that something had been going on. And there’s no reason to believe there wasn’t, because it was a different time. And considering his age at the time (he’s still an active teacher in the district), it probably wouldn’t have raised as many eyebrows as it should have – and absolutely would have today.

What probably happened at the time was what always happened when one of the girls was “in trouble” (code for pregnant in most cases). They were disappeared off to the continuation school where they wouldn’t be a distraction, or cause more problems. And I don’t mean transferred – I mean disappeared. As in gone not to be mentioned ever again on campus. Mind you – the guys were never “in trouble” in the same way, or accountable. Sure, there were plenty of boys transferred out, but they were there for fighting or being aggressively disruptive. Any other bad behavior – especially when it came to the “conquest” – was winked at, almost celebrated.

That was the era we were in. Teen pregnancy was something that was dealt with by shunning the girls. No one was “out” in the way a high schooler could be today. Sure, I had classmates who were queer, but no one broadcasted it – even when it should have been obvious to everyone. And we grew up using tools and phrases that would get you canceled in a heartbeat today.

It hurts that it took 37 years for this to properly come to light. But I still can’t say I’m surprised. It was a different time.

ON THE MENU: The minute he said it, I laughed. And laughed some more.

Honestly, my first thought was to half joke, “So what? Who made him (and the others) the food police? Who decided that we could eat cows and pigs but not other animals?” (Now, if there was actual theft involved, then, yeah, that’s illegal. But that didn’t feel like the place the outrage was coming from.)

 

But then – after more laughter, and an internet full of remixes and memes – I got to thinking about how bad this really is.

Because think about what this boils down to in the end: Racism, plain and simple. Haitian immigrants – who are here legally – are being targeted for the same reason that they’ve been targeted throughout history. And by calling them out the way they have been, they’ve all but been called savages – another thing that people have used to other peoples throughout the years. Frankly, it feels like he went there because using the word that he really would want to use for them (it starts with n), it might actually finally get him in so much trouble that even he might not recover from it.

It reminds me about how we were always told we would be judged by the company we keep. Well, I’m sure that not every person who supports the former guy is an out-and-out racist. But I sure as hell believe that every racist is supporting him. And by dropping this into the public sphere the way it has been is just bringing out more and more actual hate that we don’t need more of in this world.

MISDIRECT: As more and more of what happened Sunday outside of the former guy’s golf club comes to light, I have been able to back away from the ledge. Because my initial thoughts were getting me ready to jump head on into conspiracy theory range.

For years and years, one of their favorite excuses for … well … everything, was blaming it on a False Flag operation. So, what better way is there to squash all the bad press of the last week than having to be rushed to safety over another apparent attack on his life?

Again, I try not to jump head first into conspiracy theories like that – that’s what the other side does. So I’m glad that I’ve spent the day waiting to see what the reporting bears out as far as what happened Sunday afternoon before sitting down to write this. But man, it remains awfully convenient that after the week of “they’re eating the dogs” and “concepts of a plan,” this distraction came along to change the national conversation. And all the 24-hour news networks dove right into it, dedicating their day (and night) to the story. (As well, they should, I mean, a presidential candidate was almost shot – again – but let’s stick to the facts and not make him out like a martyr.)

While we’ll still remain calm and stay away from the conspiracy ledge, I do have one remaining question for all those supporters of the former guy: Can we talk about gun control now? I mean, that’s two people who got close enough with an assault rifle who apparently meant him harm. Is now the time we can talk about it?

 

Setting the Record Straight (I hope)

Can we just get a few things straight, please?

You can believe whatever you want ... but it doesn't always mean it's true. For example:

• Children are not having operations to change their gender at schools. You're telling me that a school that is struggling to find enough money to provide their teachers enough supplies is all of a sudden conducting operations? Really? You believe that? Have you been to your local school lately? Most of them can't afford bandages let alone conduct surgeries. Oh, and none of them are using kitty litter to use the bathroom, either, so get that thought out of your head. Teachers ain't got time for that.
  
  
• Teachers are not indoctrinating your children. If they had the power to indoctrinate their students, then the students would get their homework done, listen to instructions, understand how to log in to their laptops without help, not talk during lessons, not fight ... you get the idea. The one thing teachers are trying to do is to teach them how to be better people. How to be more accepting of others. Understand the meaning of the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" (without relying on the Bible). Maybe if they learn to accept people, we'd have less bullying, fighting, and mental health issues.
  
  
• Infants that have been born are not being killed. People would be going to jail for doing that. If a child IS born and dies ... that happens. There are some who are stillborn. Pregnancy and childbirth is not always perfect. Things go wrong. Some children are born in hospitals that don't have the proper tools to keep them alive if there is an emergency. And some mothers DIE in childbirth because people don't think it's important for there to be proper prenatal care for pregnant women. If you care so much, help provide more prenatal services across rural areas instead of putting up more restrictions and road blocks that put the lives of the mothers and children at risk.
   
• No one is coming for your guns. We don't want them. If we wanted guns, we would have guns. The thing is, however, we want there to be rules for safety. You have to complete training and pass a test before you're issued a driver's license - why shouldn't you have to do something similar to have a weapon? A gun safety class every few years doesn't seem like it would infringe on anyone's right to own a gun. Insurance or a background check seems simple, too. And a weapon of war does not need to be in the hands of anyone not in war. You can't just go out and buy a tank as your primary vehicle. (Yes, I get that you want to be able to "hold the government accountable," but really, is your life that bad - and would you know it when you saw it?) School children especially aren't threats, so can we leave them be to grow up without gun violence?
  
  
• Your religion - your faith - is yours and yours alone. And, again, there is no government war against your beliefs in the United States. (Have to choose the words carefully, because there certainly is a war being fought over religion in other parts of the world.) Remember, most of the early English settlers in this country were fleeing for religious freedom. They were being persecuted for the way they wanted to practice their beliefs, to the point that they were subject to fines, imprisonment, and execution for going against the official Church of England. So advocating for the government to adopt rules based on one set of religious beliefs feels antithetical to why people came to this continent in the first place. And the founders believed in the freedom of religion and expression so much that they made it the first amendment to their Bill of Rights. Sure, a lot of those who were seeking their religious freedom were different factions of Christianity, but when you make a point of writing down "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof," people might take notice and believe it applies to everyone. So stop trying to make laws because that's what your religion says. Some of us have other beliefs - or not practice a religion at all.
  
  
• Not everyone who disagrees with you is against you. We don't have to fight over every little disagreement. Not all of us are ever going to agree on every little thing. But we can talk to one another to come up with solutions that will be beneficial for (or acceptable to) the majority of people. That has been the way our country has worked for hundreds of years - compromise. Working together for the believed betterment of our country.
  
  
• You can have your own beliefs, but you cannot have your own facts. And while history is written by the winners, it's not always a complete accounting. No winner is going to tell about all the corners they cut to get there. The people they stepped on or over. Just because something doesn't fit in your worldview doesn't mean it's wrong. Just because you learned it in school doesn't mean you got the whole story.
  
  
• People who are "different" - gay, trans, nonbinary, whatever - aren't out recruiting. They're just living their lives without having to hide. Again, just because you don't agree with their lifestyle doesn't mean you have a right to take it away from them. And, no, in a lot of cases, it's not a choice. Can you imagine choosing to live a life where you were being ostracized (or worse) at every turn? Who would consciously do that to themselves? For many, the choice they face is live freely or commit self harm up to and including suicide. 

 

Last thing: Alex Morgan is a badass. That's all.