A Myspace Flashback

This was originally posted on MySpace on June 11, 2007:

There's something that bothers me about the statement: "It's only a game."

Like the hurt, anger, shock, jubilation or happiness of playing in or watching a sporting event is lessened by that thought. And you know what makes it better, when a second person, then a third and a fourth tell you the same thing.

Sports are a way of life for many people. No longer able to play at a certain level (or at all), we latch on to our favorite teams to continue seeking the high we got from our athletic participation days. That is why there are so many fanatical people out there following "their" teams.

Of course, the fanaticism goes to extreme. Was it "just a game" for Andres Escobar? He was the Colombian defender who accidentally knocked the ball into his own goal during the 1994 World Cup allowing the Americans to win.

Is it only a game for the thousands, nay millions, of rabid followers of the Mexican National Soccer team? The ones who take to the streets to celebrate big victories, and voice their displeasure about losses.

Even beyond soccer, what about the fans of teams in L.A., Detroit and elsewhere who take to the streets in near-riot mode after a big victory?

So, yes, winning and losing really matter. No one goes through life trying to lose. You never took a test in school trying to get an F? You never asked out someone you really, REALLY liked hoping to get rejected? 

 But all that is nothing compared to the psychological effects winning can do for you.

In 2002, Gina's mom died the Friday before the beginning of the World Series. We, obviously, we're devastated by our loss, and wondering what it would be like watching the Angels' first series without her (an Angels' fan herself).

But it turned out that the World Series came at exactly the right moment for us. We took the opportunity to go and watch the games with Gina's dad. Growing up, baseball was one of the few ways that the two of them connected, so sitting down at a sports bar among people helped us talk and enjoy the moments.

We said our final goodbye to her mom a week later, the day of Game 6. I remember that it had been overcast and gloomy during the middle of the week, but it was sunny, but brisk that day. We had the service, and then a reception. I turned on the game in a side bedroom to keep tabs on what was going on -- and it wasn't pretty. Here we were still grieving over the loss and fuming about something that happened during the reception, and to make matter worse, the Angels were losing 5-0 and were going to lose the World Series.

We packed up to head home, and being the masochist I am, I went ahead and turned on the game -- just in time to hear Scott Spiezio's home run. I frantically called Gina (we were in separate cars) and told her we were coming back, and the crowd was going wild. The drive home flew by. I was back in Ontario when Darin Erstad hit his leadoff home run to make it 5-4, and I was practically in hysterics. I stopped for drinks at a Circle K, and we had the lead.

We sprinted into the apartment in time to see Troy Percival shut down the Giants for the 6-5 victory, hearing Joe Buck say "See you tomorrow night." I still get goose bumps just thinking about it.

We watched the highlights giddy. Seeing Spiezio's homer, I think both of us had the feeling that it got a little help from the newest Angel that night, because we know Gina's mom was looking out for her team and her kids at their time of need.

Tell me that "was just a game."

Where I think we've lost our way is that somehow being competitive and wanting to win means you can't be a good sportsman. That the lessons of fair play go out the window in the quest of winning. 

When I was in Little League (oh boy, here he goes again), playing in the lowest (non T-ball) division, we played. And we played to win. This was back before coach's pitched, walks were replaced by swings at a ball on the tee, safety baseballs and no one keeping score -- because we were all winners. No, the game was meant to be played to win.

I even remember one of those games. I was 9, and we were playing a team we hadn't beat all season. It was a late spring/early summer evening, and both teams were playing hard, jumping up and down in our dugouts and having a good time. If I remember correctly, we rallied, and then hung on for a 3-2 victory. 3-2, with a bunch of 8- and 9-year-olds.

Things started to change as I grew up. More and more parents were forgetting the lessons they were supposed to teach their kids, instead seeking absolute perfection. Yelling and screaming after every little mistake (like a 10-year-old is going to catch every ground ball hit their way). Berating volunteer officials to the point of physical violence. And then, to make sure no ones feelings were hurt at the end of the day, everyone started getting trophies (or medals) just for playing. Rules were changed to make the game safer and allow everyone the chance to hit (eliminating walks, for instance). Parents stopped keeping score and reinforcing the "everyone's a winner" motto.

I've since been a coach. The first thing I tell players and parents is that we will have fun during the season, but I do expect one thing: That while the players are on the field, that they are 100 percent on the field and trying to the best of their ability for the two hours we are there -- in other words "Go Hard or Go Home." As long as we do that, we'll never have any problems. And ya know what, we won more than we lost -- and nobody ever felt like we were doing their kids wrong.

So, now five days removed from the "just a game" that set me off on this rant, have my feelings mellowed on the subject of the Ducks winning the Stanley Cup. Ummm... how about no. But it doesn't mean I haven't looked at it objectively. Nor does it mean I can't give them credit (the cheating bast ... errr ... the superior team in the series got the win. Of course, Ottawa didn't help its cause by playing its worst game of the playoffs in Game 5).

In the end, the key to being a good player or fan, is the ability to move on. Forget ones losses. Learn from your mistakes. Look ahead to the next challenge without dwelling on the past. So taking that lesson into account, all I gotta say is:

Only 111 days until the Kings play the Ducks to open the season in London (Sept. 29 and 30). GO KINGS!

Exciting New Job Opportunity

I'm here to tell you how you can embark on a new career path. One that will influence millions of people and get your name out in front of the masses.
And you know what's the best part? You don't have to stop working at your current career!
You -- yes, you! -- too can become a part of the popular liberal media!
(And just like the bulk of the people actually working in the media, you won't get paid.)
In your job, you can become a reporter, photographer, blogger and -- if you're real ambitious -- videographer for your local news outlet.
And if you think I'm being a cynical journalist burnout -- well, you'd probably be right. But it's also the truth.
Many, many, MANY news outlets are turning their publications over to "citizen journalists." Every day people with a smart phone, camera and home computer and the desire to share their gifts with the masses.
And it's not just for, you know, actual news. Going to your child's Little League game? Post pictures. Spend the day at church? Write about the sermon. Going for a hike? Write a blog for us rating the trail.
Media companies are scrambling. They're trying anything and everything. Some even want to become the Facebook for a community.
But there's a problem ... there's already a Facebook. And on it, you don't have to share your pictures with everyone and anyone in your city -- or the world -- who happens to come to media website. Facebook allows you to limit your friends, and who gets to see all those things.
Become a writer? Sure, sounds sexy. Until you realize you can't always say what you want whenever you want. Or that there are things like deadlines. Or a regular schedule to keep. Or that you also have 100 other things you have to do for your real job, family and personal life.
Plus, look at your Facebook timeline. Eliminate all the social media game requests, and what do you find a lot of? News stories from legitimate media outlets. Written by real reporters. Edited by the remaining professional editors. All for your consumption.
No matter how much the bean counters try to push it, "citizen journalism" is a search for fool's gold. It looks pretty, but it's not worth the money you think it is. You're trading in ethics, standards and real community knowledge for a bottom line that will spell the end of your bottom line -- when people tune you out and go elsewhere for their news.
So, good luck trying to get the citizens to "journalist" themselves.

The (Liberal) Truth

I'm sick of it. Sick and tired of it.

Tired of being lumped in as the "liberal media."

Enough. No more.

I'm sick of being distrusted. I'm sick of people imposing unnecessary rules to protect others from the big, bad reporters out there. I'm sick of being blamed for exposing something that many people would have rather not known about, being blissfully unaware of the problems that surround them.

Here's the way I see it: We're the media. Our political beliefs are no one's business but our own.

The problem becomes that we reporters and journalists end up being lumped in with commentators and interviewers. People like Keith Olbermann and Bill O'Reilly. Neither is a true "journalist" in the sense that they're going out and reporting on the news. They are interviewers, and each has his own agenda that their networks encourage.

But for the rest of us, the so-called "ink stained wretches" who still work on the ground, doing the reporting, there is no agenda. We're not allowed to have one.

Most newspapers have ethical guidelines that its reporters must adhere to. Everything from not signing political petitions to not publicly supporting a political candidate to watching what and how you say things in social media. Me writing this could be considered a breach ... if I were still working full-time for a media company.

The other thing that people always accuse journalists of is that we're out to get people. Trust me, if we were, we likely would find reason to be "out to get" them. Most of the people who end up being portrayed negatively in the news did something on their own to get themselves there. No one was out to get Bernie Madoff, he got himself in trouble all by his lonesome. And no one in the legitimate media was hoping that starlets like Lindsey Lohan go nuts or end up in jail (though, yeah, we do have our laughs about it).

In fact, if you want to see the framework of the ethical code most of us live under, check out the Society of Professional Journalists' code of ethics.

Oh, but what of the editorial pages, you may ask? What about them? None of the grunts whose names appear on top of the stories write them. And even if we did, they would be dictated by a faceless editorial board (in most cases) that is picked to reflect either the publisher/company's point of view (such as the OC Register's Libertarian influences, the Wall St. Journal's Conservative or the NY Times' Liberal). Any bias that most newspapers display are on those pages ... not on the news pages.

Sigh, ya, I'm a little upset while writing this. I try not to write upset, but sometimes it helps to get the feelings out. And yeah, there was an incident that spurred it on, but I'm not going to get into it, because the people who caused aren't worth the trouble.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. Hope you're checking out my blogs over at Loma Linda Patch as well. This one didn't seem to fit in what I write about over there. But I promise to keep going in both places as the muse hits me.

Commercial Insanity

So, we all watch too much TV.

Don't lie. You know you do.

And as a part of watching TV, you have to sit through commercials. Some work, some don't and sometimes you end up laughing at it ... and not because it was funny.

For example, there's a commercial airing right now behind me for a local career college. Those are a staple of the cable afternoon. But this one just made me scratch my head.

It's of a woman and her daughter in their kitchen. The mom explains that her daughter is her hero.

Why?

Because, it turns out, her daughter didn't get her high school diploma, but this college was helping her get on a path to a career.

Whaaaaaa?

Why the hell doesn't your daughter have a high school diploma? And why is she your hero for not having one?

I know that the implication is that you're proud of her for not winding up making her money dancing around a pole for a living ... but hero? C'mon.

I'd go on a long tirade about how this commercial is destroying America, and our future ... OK, yeah, I'm going to.

You see, has it gotten to that point in American households? Do some parents today work so hard at not being just like their parents, that it was OK to celebrate her not having a high school diploma?

This is where I curse the day that it became cheap enough for sports leagues to start handing out medals to every kid who played. You shouldn't get a medal just for showing up.

"It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game" is true in its most honest sense. You always should be trying your best at whatever you do. But by giving out medals to everyone, that whole doesn't matter part gets amplified.

We should be striving to win every day. Whether its in the sports arenas or classrooms, the fact that we stopped keeping score, started saying everyone wins and stopped pushing that winning attitude is not helping our cause as a nation. Instead of trying to find ways to win as a team, we're working together as two enemies who were forced to be a tag team during a WWE show. It's a doomed enterprise.

Watching Little League games the last week, two thoughts immediately came to me along these lines. First was, "God, I thought we were better than this, even at this age."

The second was, where was the competitive fire. I'm not expecting a kid to throw his glove down to the ground like Tanner from "The Bad News Bears," but something. Some sort of team spirit. Some sort of in the trenches battling for a common goal.

Of course, so much has been taken away from the kids today. No more on-deck circles. No more infield chatter ("Hey, batter" was ruled to be taunting, and no one thinks to talk to each other). Pitch counts that interrupt the flow of the game (we always had weekly inning limits).

They're just kids, I know. And no one wants the abuses of the past from overzealous parents -- I've seen plenty of them in action.

But we should be expecting more from our children than "she turned her life around after not getting her diploma, so she's my hero."

Support is one thing. Outright delusion is another.

From the mouths of actors

"Don't think; it can only hurt the ball club."
- Crash Davis (Kevin Costner), "Bull Durham" (1988)

It's funny how many things in life boil down to that one line from a movie about baseball.
We've spent the last few weeks watching the Shania Twain reality show on The Oprah's network, and it's amazing how, in the end, a lot of the problems she was facing in her journey of self-discovery were in her head.
Every roadblock she faced trying to get back into singing. Every time she balked at stepping up to a microphone to record. All in her head.
Now, I'm not going to say that all of us don't get that mental block in our head that keeps us from doing things. I have had times (and still do) where my brain gets in the way of things that should come pretty natually.
But this is not an entry about that.
It's about the quote on the top. And all the other bon mots of advice we've received and adopted from TV and the movies through the years.
And there are a few that seem more and more relevant these days.

"Fame is fleeting..."
"But the Internet is forever."
-- Phineas Flynn and step-brother Ferb Fletcher, "Phineas and Ferb" on Disney Channel (2008)

Leave it to one of my son's favorite shows to provide the lesson that Congressman Anthony Weiner has been learning the hard (*snicker*) way these last couple of weeks.
You can think that you've hidden stuff away, deleted files or erased accounts, but somewhere, squirreled away, is a copy of what you -- or others -- posted.
Trust me on this one. You wouldn't be able to guess the number of requests per month we'd have from people wanting us to take down or delete stories that they were mentioned in. Apparently that time they said something or arrested (but never charged or convicted) was showing up in Internet searches by friends, family and potential employers.
The kicker for all these people was that most of the stories weren't even accessible on our site or some of our servers to take down. They were cached versions by Google.
So, sometime down the road, don't be surprised when someone finds that picture you posted (that one you thought you set to private) and uses it against you.

 "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES!' "
-- Winston Zeddemore (Ernie Hudson), "Ghost Busters" (1984)

Now it's one thing to say you're a god. It's entirely another to think it.
And maybe I'm misconstruing LeBron James' words, but it certainly seemed like he was saying he was better than the rest of us in his comments after his Miami Heat were beaten for the NBA championship by the Dallas Mavericks. When asked whether it bothered him that so many fans seemed to be rooting against him, he said (according to Yahoo Sports):

"Absolutely not. Because at the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I'm going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that."

Good for you LeBron! Way to infuriate people who were on the fence about you and your ego.
You're a talented athlete being paid millions to play a game in front of the same people with personal problems you were talking about. Nothing more.
When your playing days are over, you're going to find yourself without the groupies and entourage to tell you how good you are and cater to your every whim. So I hope that your family is happy with a grump who still hasn't won a title, and is falling farther behind in his chase of names such as Jordan, Johnson and Bryant.

"I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball."
-- Ty Webb (Chevy Chase), "Caddyshack" (1980)

"Be the ball." What person playing golf (miniature or full-sized) hasn't uttered that phrase one or a thousand times, followed by the familiar "na-na-na-nahhhhh."
It's a great Zen philosophy. But it's not so great of an idea when you're a public figure who one day may run for president.
Sarah Palin's interpretation of Paul Revere's ride may have been an off-the-cuff faux paus, as Jon Stewart rightly pointed out, but when she later defended herself on Fox News ... wow.
At a certain point, this folksy, gee whiz personality she portrays in public is going to be her undoing. When you can't get simple facts right and then talk down to the people who question you about them, well, that's not being a politician. That's being the Church Lady.
And as much as I love Dana Carvey, no one's about to elect him to an office.
Let's hope this little vacation Caribou Barbie went on with her family is the last we have to hear about her in the mainstream media for a while. And certainly not announcing a run for president.

It's the End of the World and I Feel Fine

So, yeah. I'm unemployed.
And ya know what? For now, it's not so bad.
I know that eventually I'll get tired of being around the house all the time and I'll have to get to work at finding work.
But for now ... I feel almost zen.
Meanwhile, from many of the people around me, I get the feeling that the world should be falling apart.
And maybe it is. But I haven't seen it yet.
A lot of it was in the timing. I got the news on the Wednesday after Memorial Day -- my work week's Monday. And then, I was paid for the last two days of the normal work week. So it was a few days of a paid vacation.
Vacation. Something we haven't taken in earnest for two years, since our trip to Costa Rica. Sure, we've taken days here and there. I scheduled a few Friday through Sunday weekends off, but those were all staycations. Mostly just chances for us to go to hockey games, spend time as a family.
Family. My poor son has had to put with daddy leaving for work at nights and on weekends. Coming to his office to have dinner, then having to leave daddy again after that. He's been happy to have both parents around for the last few days.
So it's been an OK week and a half being out of work.
Honestly, with the way the industry has been, it was getting to the point where it was a matter of when, and not if, there would be more layoffs in my office. Hell, in most newspaper offices. Those of us who were still employed were blessed to have lasted as long as we did.
Blessed, but put upon. The bleeding in newsrooms has just put the onus of continuing levels of coverage on less people. The day I was let go, there was no one available to work the rest of the night. The main stories remained the same as they were at 2:30. Day-old news lingered until the next morning and the regularly scheduled crew came in and changed it.
And since? Where there were three of us to spread the heavy lifting, now there are two. That means both of them had their lives turned upside down as they were thrown into new schedules, having to work weekends and juggle their future plans (one of them already has tickets to this year's Comic-Con). Oh, and then there's the new system they're installing...
The other factor in all this is that I haven't just been sitting here on my ass writing new blogs and playing games on Facebook. I've been working a bit, too.
Almost immediately, my name started appearing on the news site my wife runs, Loma Linda Patch. I couldn't help her before, because it would be helping a competing news agency. But now that I'm free, I've been jumping in and taking photos for her (three graduations so far, the fourth is this weekend) and writing briefs and turning news releases into small stories to help bolster her coverage.
It's actually been a little freeing, since I hadn't really done much the last couple of years but chase code and edit other's work. Actually contributing items that are published has been nice. I haven't gotten back to the point where I'm actually doing any reporting ... yet. But that's going to come back to me eventually. Been chained to a desk for a long while.
And the best part, I'm not necessarily doing it for free. She has a budget to pay freelancers, so I'm getting a little pin money here and there. Not enough that I'm going to get rich, or enough that it'll replace my full-time salary. But enough that it'll help stem some of the tide.
Don't get me wrong. This is not all sunshine and roses. It's disappointing that it happened. And I'm very grateful for all the support I've received over the last week-plus. It's nice to know people are out there looking out for me and my family.
But maybe, just maybe, this was the right thing at the right time. The proverbial push off the perch of complacency. It's time to get out and find something new. Maybe even outside of journalism all together. Maybe even going back to school and learning new skills.
Or maybe I'm just in complete denial.
I hope not. I'm looking forward to this next chapter, whatever it may bring. And hopefully, the final chapter will read "and they all lived happily ever after."

Stale and Easy

While we're on the topic of shopping...
It's been difficult driving through Loma Linda the last few years. Especially the corner of Mountain View and Redlands.
Seeing that Fresh and Easy sitting empty has been pure torture.
I had been following the news of their opening across the region with some anticipation. I wanted to see what this new grocery store model would bring. And it was exciting to finally check out the store that opened near our previous home -- two weeks before we moved.
Instantly, though, I knew I would want to continue doing at least some of my shopping there. And luckily, our daily travels took us past that store in Moreno Valley. It was the perfect spot to stop and get something to heat up that day at work, or pick up for cooking once at home.
Until it closed.
But the promise of one opening in Loma Linda was even better. I could go and do a full shopping trip if I wanted, and I wouldn't have to worry about making the long drive through Reche Canyon to get my groceries home.
Instead, it sits empty. With its lights on at night. Which, by the way, I understand the reasons why they are (discouraging vandals, break-ins, etc.), but doesn't that complete against their ads of being environmentally friendly?
And the worst part, for me, is that Loma Linda is the perfect fit for the brand. Packaged meals without preservatives. A wide selection of items that are sugar, gluten and fat free.
Instead, it sits there. Taunting me. Taunting us. Taunting the city, with its potential of tax dollars.