From the mouths of actors

"Don't think; it can only hurt the ball club."
- Crash Davis (Kevin Costner), "Bull Durham" (1988)

It's funny how many things in life boil down to that one line from a movie about baseball.
We've spent the last few weeks watching the Shania Twain reality show on The Oprah's network, and it's amazing how, in the end, a lot of the problems she was facing in her journey of self-discovery were in her head.
Every roadblock she faced trying to get back into singing. Every time she balked at stepping up to a microphone to record. All in her head.
Now, I'm not going to say that all of us don't get that mental block in our head that keeps us from doing things. I have had times (and still do) where my brain gets in the way of things that should come pretty natually.
But this is not an entry about that.
It's about the quote on the top. And all the other bon mots of advice we've received and adopted from TV and the movies through the years.
And there are a few that seem more and more relevant these days.

"Fame is fleeting..."
"But the Internet is forever."
-- Phineas Flynn and step-brother Ferb Fletcher, "Phineas and Ferb" on Disney Channel (2008)

Leave it to one of my son's favorite shows to provide the lesson that Congressman Anthony Weiner has been learning the hard (*snicker*) way these last couple of weeks.
You can think that you've hidden stuff away, deleted files or erased accounts, but somewhere, squirreled away, is a copy of what you -- or others -- posted.
Trust me on this one. You wouldn't be able to guess the number of requests per month we'd have from people wanting us to take down or delete stories that they were mentioned in. Apparently that time they said something or arrested (but never charged or convicted) was showing up in Internet searches by friends, family and potential employers.
The kicker for all these people was that most of the stories weren't even accessible on our site or some of our servers to take down. They were cached versions by Google.
So, sometime down the road, don't be surprised when someone finds that picture you posted (that one you thought you set to private) and uses it against you.

 "Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say 'YES!' "
-- Winston Zeddemore (Ernie Hudson), "Ghost Busters" (1984)

Now it's one thing to say you're a god. It's entirely another to think it.
And maybe I'm misconstruing LeBron James' words, but it certainly seemed like he was saying he was better than the rest of us in his comments after his Miami Heat were beaten for the NBA championship by the Dallas Mavericks. When asked whether it bothered him that so many fans seemed to be rooting against him, he said (according to Yahoo Sports):

"Absolutely not. Because at the end of the day, all the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I'm going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that."

Good for you LeBron! Way to infuriate people who were on the fence about you and your ego.
You're a talented athlete being paid millions to play a game in front of the same people with personal problems you were talking about. Nothing more.
When your playing days are over, you're going to find yourself without the groupies and entourage to tell you how good you are and cater to your every whim. So I hope that your family is happy with a grump who still hasn't won a title, and is falling farther behind in his chase of names such as Jordan, Johnson and Bryant.

"I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball."
-- Ty Webb (Chevy Chase), "Caddyshack" (1980)

"Be the ball." What person playing golf (miniature or full-sized) hasn't uttered that phrase one or a thousand times, followed by the familiar "na-na-na-nahhhhh."
It's a great Zen philosophy. But it's not so great of an idea when you're a public figure who one day may run for president.
Sarah Palin's interpretation of Paul Revere's ride may have been an off-the-cuff faux paus, as Jon Stewart rightly pointed out, but when she later defended herself on Fox News ... wow.
At a certain point, this folksy, gee whiz personality she portrays in public is going to be her undoing. When you can't get simple facts right and then talk down to the people who question you about them, well, that's not being a politician. That's being the Church Lady.
And as much as I love Dana Carvey, no one's about to elect him to an office.
Let's hope this little vacation Caribou Barbie went on with her family is the last we have to hear about her in the mainstream media for a while. And certainly not announcing a run for president.

It's the End of the World and I Feel Fine

So, yeah. I'm unemployed.
And ya know what? For now, it's not so bad.
I know that eventually I'll get tired of being around the house all the time and I'll have to get to work at finding work.
But for now ... I feel almost zen.
Meanwhile, from many of the people around me, I get the feeling that the world should be falling apart.
And maybe it is. But I haven't seen it yet.
A lot of it was in the timing. I got the news on the Wednesday after Memorial Day -- my work week's Monday. And then, I was paid for the last two days of the normal work week. So it was a few days of a paid vacation.
Vacation. Something we haven't taken in earnest for two years, since our trip to Costa Rica. Sure, we've taken days here and there. I scheduled a few Friday through Sunday weekends off, but those were all staycations. Mostly just chances for us to go to hockey games, spend time as a family.
Family. My poor son has had to put with daddy leaving for work at nights and on weekends. Coming to his office to have dinner, then having to leave daddy again after that. He's been happy to have both parents around for the last few days.
So it's been an OK week and a half being out of work.
Honestly, with the way the industry has been, it was getting to the point where it was a matter of when, and not if, there would be more layoffs in my office. Hell, in most newspaper offices. Those of us who were still employed were blessed to have lasted as long as we did.
Blessed, but put upon. The bleeding in newsrooms has just put the onus of continuing levels of coverage on less people. The day I was let go, there was no one available to work the rest of the night. The main stories remained the same as they were at 2:30. Day-old news lingered until the next morning and the regularly scheduled crew came in and changed it.
And since? Where there were three of us to spread the heavy lifting, now there are two. That means both of them had their lives turned upside down as they were thrown into new schedules, having to work weekends and juggle their future plans (one of them already has tickets to this year's Comic-Con). Oh, and then there's the new system they're installing...
The other factor in all this is that I haven't just been sitting here on my ass writing new blogs and playing games on Facebook. I've been working a bit, too.
Almost immediately, my name started appearing on the news site my wife runs, Loma Linda Patch. I couldn't help her before, because it would be helping a competing news agency. But now that I'm free, I've been jumping in and taking photos for her (three graduations so far, the fourth is this weekend) and writing briefs and turning news releases into small stories to help bolster her coverage.
It's actually been a little freeing, since I hadn't really done much the last couple of years but chase code and edit other's work. Actually contributing items that are published has been nice. I haven't gotten back to the point where I'm actually doing any reporting ... yet. But that's going to come back to me eventually. Been chained to a desk for a long while.
And the best part, I'm not necessarily doing it for free. She has a budget to pay freelancers, so I'm getting a little pin money here and there. Not enough that I'm going to get rich, or enough that it'll replace my full-time salary. But enough that it'll help stem some of the tide.
Don't get me wrong. This is not all sunshine and roses. It's disappointing that it happened. And I'm very grateful for all the support I've received over the last week-plus. It's nice to know people are out there looking out for me and my family.
But maybe, just maybe, this was the right thing at the right time. The proverbial push off the perch of complacency. It's time to get out and find something new. Maybe even outside of journalism all together. Maybe even going back to school and learning new skills.
Or maybe I'm just in complete denial.
I hope not. I'm looking forward to this next chapter, whatever it may bring. And hopefully, the final chapter will read "and they all lived happily ever after."

Stale and Easy

While we're on the topic of shopping...
It's been difficult driving through Loma Linda the last few years. Especially the corner of Mountain View and Redlands.
Seeing that Fresh and Easy sitting empty has been pure torture.
I had been following the news of their opening across the region with some anticipation. I wanted to see what this new grocery store model would bring. And it was exciting to finally check out the store that opened near our previous home -- two weeks before we moved.
Instantly, though, I knew I would want to continue doing at least some of my shopping there. And luckily, our daily travels took us past that store in Moreno Valley. It was the perfect spot to stop and get something to heat up that day at work, or pick up for cooking once at home.
Until it closed.
But the promise of one opening in Loma Linda was even better. I could go and do a full shopping trip if I wanted, and I wouldn't have to worry about making the long drive through Reche Canyon to get my groceries home.
Instead, it sits empty. With its lights on at night. Which, by the way, I understand the reasons why they are (discouraging vandals, break-ins, etc.), but doesn't that complete against their ads of being environmentally friendly?
And the worst part, for me, is that Loma Linda is the perfect fit for the brand. Packaged meals without preservatives. A wide selection of items that are sugar, gluten and fat free.
Instead, it sits there. Taunting me. Taunting us. Taunting the city, with its potential of tax dollars.

Going to Extreme

So, one of the things about being home more is seeing more of what's on the tube.
And one of the newest crazy documentary-style reality shows is "Extreme Couponing" on TLC.
The show started as a one-off, pilot type documentary. And the buzz (and ratings) it earned has led to a full-time series that they are striking at while the iron's hot.
If you haven't seen or heard about the show, it follows two families per half hour episode and how they've turned couponing into a sport. They clip and cut and organize and research to the point of big binders and spreadsheets on their iPads.
The whole point is pretty obvious: Save as much money as possible when shopping. And as the title of the show implies, these people save big time - as much as 99 percent of their grocery bill. For example, I think in one case a woman bought $500 worth of groceries for 1 cent.
Sounds great, doesn't it? We all love to save money, and more power to you for doing the work it takes. And it's a job for most of these people, taking up to 30 hours a week to prepare for a shopping trip.
You also get to see these people's "stash." Entire rooms (basements, garages) full of their purchases. Shelves and shelves of the stuff. One family had its items stashed around the house, under kids beds and the like.
Which begs the question: How much of this stuff do you really need?
The way these people work the system is by buying lots and lots of items while they are on sale with their coupons. Twenty bottles of mustard. Fifty small boxes of instant potatoes (because the family sized ones wouldn't work with the coupon/sale). One woman took an entire wire basket of more than 100 boxes of Excedrin and poured it in her basket (because it was buy one, get one free and she had lots of coupons).
Which is where the program gets a little disingenuous. Only on rare occasions do any of these "extreme couponers" have the following items in their cart: bread, milk, fresh fruits or vegetables or proteins.
So basically, these people are using boxed, prepared items to feed their families. And they wonder why there's a obesity problem in this country (like I have room to talk).
Watching the woman buying the boxes and boxes of the instant potatoes was the one that struck me. First off, who needs to eat that many potatoes -- especially dried ones? And second, wouldn't it have been just as cost effective to have bought a bag from the produce department, take the time to peel the potatoes (which I loved to do as a kid -- get them in the kitchen), cut them up, boil them and mash them? Not only would they taste better, but they'd be better for you. And you'd have the opportunity to get your children involved in the cooking process.
And what about the "staples"? It's a pretty well known fact that if you want to save money on certain items, you buy them and prepare them yourselves.
For example, our local market had chicken breasts on sale. You got four breasts per package, which worked out to about $5. Right next to those packages was the whole fryer chicken, which was priced anywhere from 25 to 75 cents less. All you have to do is your own cutting. Yep, convenience costs you.
Then there's the whole hoarding aspect about it that bothers me. The woman who bought all the Excedrin has enough items in her house that she invites other family members to come over and "shop" from her stash.
A couple of the people featured get passes from me, though. One was donating his groceries to a food bank that helps military families. The other was only shopping to feed a party.
Oh, and how do they get all these coupons? They get them from friends, relatives, online, writing the companies, club cards and the newspaper inserts. They don't necessarily buy the newspapers to get the coupons, but they dig in trash/recycling cans (don't judge, I do that in my apartment complex mail room for fast food ones). Or, some of them even go to the newspaper and ask for extras.
That struck a nerve. I couldn't get a weekend paper inside my own office. And certainly not one with coupons or ads in it. I didn't get one delivered to me for free. We had to pay for home delivery -- and did for a while. But every Sunday, my paper would be stolen for the ads before we could get out to it. How do I know it was stolen for the ads? Because no one was lifting the paper from our driveway the rest of the week.
So, now like many of the people featured in the program, will I become an "extreme couponer"? Not likely. We certainly will be watching our budget and hitting the sales.
But there definitely not the room in our place for that many groceries. I mean, honestly, if I'm ever at the point I need more than two bottles of mustard at a time -- one yellow and one dijon or brown -- then I better be having one hell of a party.

Grads Just Wanna Have Fun

So, maybe I'm just romanticizing things.
But 22 years removed from my own graduation, I don't recall the level of restrictions that were placed on the graduates and families I saw this week.
Back in the field, I out for a commencement ceremony this week. Keyword: ceremony.
That was at the top of the sign posted at the gate: This is a ceremony, not a celebration. And as such, no balloons, no flowers, no excessive standing, no strollers, no car seats (oh, and small kids needed a ticket, too). Video cameras needed to be lap held.
Now, this is a school that was having its 118th graduation. They still observe many of the rituals that have been around for many of those 118 years, so decorum is needed.
But when seniors were supposed to arrive at 5:30 p.m. for a 7 p.m. start, there's going to be a certain amount of steam that these 18-year-olds are going to want to vent. Especially on this, the day they've been waiting for for at least eight years (I'm thinking fourth grade is about the time you start wanting your school days to end).
So, as these 700 or so kids waited outside for the OK to march into the "ceremony," a couple of "troublemakers" started a cheer. Nothing mean. Nothing lewd. I think it was just a "What, What!" type of thing that the kids today might say (oh, gawd, did I just say that? I'm old).
Of course, that wasn't going to fly with the authorities figures. They were immediately on the students to be quiet. That it wasn't appropriate. Probably not (they weren't that far from the actual event, and were probably heard inside, where the band had started tuning up).
It was then I realized that this wasn't a day for them -- it was a day for the adults.
Oh, and did I forget to mention that campus security officers came through and searched inside each students' gown -- they guys even got pat downs. I'm guessing they were looking for noisemakers. Of course, every one of those kids was carrying one if they really wanted to use their phone...
Maybe I'm just overreacting. Making much ado about nothing.
Or maybe, just maybe (OK, probably pretty likely) I just feel free to write blogs again, so I'm writing about something that tweaked me a little bit and I thought I'd over share.
Eh, whatever. I'm back -- for now -- and this part of it feels pretty good.